Thursday, November 8, 2007

Should I?

Should I feel weird about dating someone who reminds me of my ex-boyfriend? I like him, but I want it to be for the right reasons. Because he's a good person, because I like him for him, not because he reminds me of my ex or that he is similar to him.

Where is the line between liking someone for certain intrinsic traits you find compatible with you, and liking someone because those traits correspond with those of someone else's?

I'm not dating this guy, but I have been hanging out with him recently, and he's really nice and sweet and fun to talk to and it seems like it could go that way. We have some good things in common, but my major hangup is that some of those things he does and is DOES remind me of my ex, and it worries me that I'd be getting into a relationship with him (granted, I'm jumping the gun thinking about this) because it would be comfortable, and something I know, because he's similar to my ex. But am I discounting those merits he has because I'm afraid that I like them because my ex has them? Could it be possible that I actually like them for them alone, and that I would have wanted and liked them regardless, that my ex didn't instill those persuasions in me, but they were already there and he just happened to fulfill them? In that case, it seems like this guy would be fulfilling wants I'd naturally have. That's not bad, right?

It just bothers me. Understandably so, I think. I don't want to date someone because he's like my ex, because I want to get over my ex and find someone new, not a replacement. That's my biggest fear at the moment. I suppose time will tell in this case...