Should I?

Should I feel weird about dating someone who reminds me of my ex-boyfriend? I like him, but I want it to be for the right reasons. Because he's a good person, because I like him for him, not because he reminds me of my ex or that he is similar to him.

Where is the line between liking someone for certain intrinsic traits you find compatible with you, and liking someone because those traits correspond with those of someone else's?

I'm not dating this guy, but I have been hanging out with him recently, and he's really nice and sweet and fun to talk to and it seems like it could go that way. We have some good things in common, but my major hangup is that some of those things he does and is DOES remind me of my ex, and it worries me that I'd be getting into a relationship with him (granted, I'm jumping the gun thinking about this) because it would be comfortable, and something I know, because he's similar to my ex. But am I discounting those merits he has because I'm afraid that I like them because my ex has them? Could it be possible that I actually like them for them alone, and that I would have wanted and liked them regardless, that my ex didn't instill those persuasions in me, but they were already there and he just happened to fulfill them? In that case, it seems like this guy would be fulfilling wants I'd naturally have. That's not bad, right?

It just bothers me. Understandably so, I think. I don't want to date someone because he's like my ex, because I want to get over my ex and find someone new, not a replacement. That's my biggest fear at the moment. I suppose time will tell in this case...

I Am Me

A newly-minted, single girl. There have been many thoughts bottled up in my head recently, about men, about relationships, and about myself. I am not someone who is promiscuous, or altogether experienced in matters of love, which is possible why I am starting this. I like the anonymous yet public way in which I can voice those thoughts in my head I can't share with my friends.

Most of these thoughts, as indicated by the title of the blog, are about men and relationships. I recently (as of six months ago) left a relationship of two and a half years. It was devastating, and in some ways I'm still recovering from the shock. He was my first major relationship, and much of who I am today was shaped by the experiences I had with him. In ending it, I feel like I became a new person. While I feel that there was a net benefit, it still takes some getting used to.

One of the major changes was the fact that even though I had been in relationship of great significance, I'm still inexperienced when it comes to men. I've been told I'm not the "easy" type. I don't enter relationships lightly, and expect to find something great in them when I do. I've never really dated, but now it seems like I will be doing so until I find that next serious relationship. I've entered completely uncharted territory, and I won't lie, it is rather daunting.

Which brings me to this blog. I'd like to share my experiences and insight into this crazy world of dating, partly to understand what I'm doing myself, and partly to help others in the same place as me know that they are not alone. Plus, there seems to be no shortage of "stories" and funny occurrences I encounter that are comical, interesting, and/or raise questions about my own personal desires in a relationship and about the way a relationship should be that could translate to others as well.

So, enjoy yourself, and learn with me!